Where is the hope?

I came across this article today by Eugene Cho, and I felt that it really struck a chord.  

I relate to the person who can't accept God in the face of evil.   Not that I think God couldn't exist if evil does, but rather it is extremely hard to have hope.   It is really hard to trust that God will bring about good He promises.

Here is the full text:

Seeking Justice: Does it Really Matter?

by Eugene Cho 01-06-2011

 

Yesterday morning, I arrived at Q Cafe as I do on nearly every work morning to begin a new day. I ordered my usual Americano, sat in the corner of the cafe, and began to read through a few of my regular blogs before my schedule really kicked in.

I read numerous articles and blogs on my RSS feed and then, came across an article entitled. South Africa: Declare ‘Corrective Rape’ a Hate Crime. I became heartbroken and angry. No matter what one’s beliefs and theology may be, these acts are heinous and barbaric.

After a while, I just felt overwhelmed and crushed.

My sense of hope overwhelmed and crushed.

It’s not just because of this article but truth be told, sometimes, the world, including my own personal depravity, seems — dare I say it — irredeemable. So utterly depraved and apparently irredeemable that I wonder to myself and now, out loud: Does it really matter?

In the face of such evil and human cruelty, does getting signatures matters? In the face of nearly 900 million people not having access to clean water, does providing water to 9,000 kids matter?
I know what I’m supposed to say:

“Yes, it matters … ”

But yesterday, I just felt hopeless. Like hopeless in the sense that I just wanted to go fishing and not come back. And to be honest, I had a difficult time even praying and believing and sensing how God has, is, and will restore all things back unto Godself.

Yes, I believe, but there are days when I wonder about the “why’s” and “how’s” and “where are you, God.” And to be more bluntly, “what the @$%*?”

I tried to pray. I read some scripture. And I read several pages from a Martin Luther King, Jr. book that I’m currently reading again and read this quote (again):

When our days become dreary with low hovering clouds of despair, and when our nights become darker than a thousand midnights, let us remember that there is a creative force in this universe, working to pull down the gigantic mountains of evil, a power that is able to make a way out of no way and transform dark yesterdays into bright tomorrows. Let us realize the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice.

The painful truth is that the world is indeed utterly depraved. We are irredeemable on our own. We cannot save ourselves. We need a Savior and the good news is truly that while we were still living in rebellion, depravity, and sin, Jesus came to be our Savior.

Yes, Jesus came to be our Savior.

I believe in this good news. I live for this good news.  But goodness, there are days, I just wonder and have my questions. I believe that God in still sovereign over the affairs of the universe and that of humanity. And I believe that even when I don’t see or certainly feel it, God is at work to reconcile, redeem, and restore all things as God intended. I believe that “the arc of the moral universe … bends towards justice.”

God, I believe, but help me in my unbelief.

You ever feel this way?

I do feel the same way.

Here is something that sits in the back of my mind, despite my unbelief: truly incredible people choose to trust in the redemptive arc.   Justice doesn't always come in our lifetime, and yet I can name people who have brought it about regardless.

Mother Teresa spent the majority of her calling without a clear sense of where God was in the midst of her work, and yet the world felt the immensity of the good she was doing.   She said yes she would, even though the system she fought in India is still very much present.   Ultimate justice hasn't yet been realized in the work she did, but she showed the world what it could look like.

God help me to have the strength to stand up for the kingdom that is already here and yet may not be fully realized in my life time.   It is scary to think: one day most certainly I will die, like everyone before me who hoped that God's kingdom would be realized on their watch.

Justice is worth it, may I have the strength to live it out.   And, God please help me with my unbelief.